I will LIVE! for Better or Worse?

Life these pass three weeks, since Ian has been gone, have been a little more difficult than I was hoping for. Sorry I haven't written for a bit.

Worse….
I have been having a lot more flare up.
I have needed my walker more often than I'd like to admit to. 
I haven't been as calm with my kids as I'd like.
I can't remember…anything. I have alarms go off and I'm confused why (until I read the notes.)
I was late dropping off my kids to school one day.
I haven't planted my garden yet.
I haven't even gotten my garden ready.
I could keep going...

Better...
I am still able to get up and go every day.
I can still get around.
I love my kids… my kids know I love them.
I have the technology, and ability to use it, to help me with my brain fog. i.e. alarms on my iPad 
I make sure my kids get to school and back home safely everyday.
I have the ability to plant a garden and will do so. So it didn't happen this last week.

For some reason most human beings, ecspeacially women, have a mind set to look at the worse list of their lives and dwell on it. Why is that? Why can't we look at the worse list see what didn't happen and move on to the better list and see ALL that was DONE.
If we are always looking at the worse list then are minds are filled with it. Which leads to our minds continually thinking about the worst and so our lives continue to produce 'worse'. We start to live in the worse and can't see the better, eventually burying us.

I will continue to look at the worse and the better. I will rise with the better and not let the worst get me down. I will learn from both lists though. I refuse to give up. I will continue on, even if it is with my walker. We are going to continue to try and get outside at least twice a day. Yes one time might be me getting a 'stinky' to the outside trash, but I am going to get outside. I am going to keep living. I might have a disease but the disease doesn't have me. 

I hope, no I know that someday my children will be able to look back at their childhood and see that there were bump and detours but we played, learned and enjoyed every moment. They are going to be able to say "My mom LIVED."